To Be An Englishman

23 Apr

Today is St George’s Day and on this day there is often much talk of the need to celebrate and make merry in the manner of foreigners, as the Irish get drunk on St Patrick’s Day and march in rain sodden parades, as the Scots get drunk on St Andrew’s Day and partake of too much smack and as the Welsh get drunk on St David’s Day and shove daffodils up each other’s arses, perhaps we too, The English, should imbibe to excess and indulge in some typical pursuit possibly involving the ignominy of Morris Dancing.

Also much is asked on this day what defines us as being English, what are the factors of being “English” that make us stand apart.

Why?  Is it not enough to know every day of the year that we are English?  That God, in his wisdom, made us English, a proud, arrogant and superior people regardless of our faith, creed or colour, safe in the knowledge that come what may we have already won life’s lottery.

Is that not enough for you?  Why celebrate being English one day a year when we can enjoy the benefits every day of the year?  Let the foreigners and children cavort.  We are made of sterner stuff.


Posted by on April 23, 2012 in Commentariat


Tags: , , ,

3 responses to “To Be An Englishman

  1. kargosh

    April 23, 2012 at 10:14 am

    Having, on successive St. George’s days:

    * Tried to intervene while a mob attacked an Indian corner shop and been called a ‘PC Paki lover’;

    * Been locked in a pub while thick-necked retards throw bricks at it singing “No surrender to the IRA” (O’Neills, by the way, which is English-owned);

    * Been asked, in India, while I watched footage of the BNP and a muslim group doing battle on the streets of Croydon “Why are they angry?”

    I’ll probably just stay in and troll in blog comments sections.

  2. kargosh

    April 23, 2012 at 10:16 am

    By the way, the ‘benefits of being English’ began expiring in 1947 and are pretty much extinct now. They were only really available to people with a common’s pass or an entry in Debrett’s in any case.

    • Damocles

      April 26, 2012 at 6:06 am

      What I love about you is your overwhelmingly positive outlook on life.


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